Comments on: Advice for the

By: mistermanly

mistermanly — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 12:41:29 +0000

Hi Patrick,

Thanks. I do what I can. I’ve also been pleasantly surprised at both the quality and quantity of the comments. Many thanks to all.

Mister Manly

By: Reasons Behind Avoiding Foreplay « Procrastination Post

Reasons Behind Avoiding Foreplay « Procrastination Post — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 06:03:24 +0000

[...] Behind Avoiding Foreplay Jump to Comments Hello. This is Pierce. After reading Mr Manly’s post and advice for relationships, it got me thinking. It got me asking. It got me fretting about how I haven’t been involved [...]

By: Patrick

Patrick — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 04:25:15 +0000

Wow! This is one of the better ‘help’ columns I’ve read…and a lot of useful comments too!
Ann Landers, Phil, you know…that stuff….they have nothing on you.
-patrick

By: meddlingshro

meddlingshro — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 23:08:23 +0000

Ah, but see there you go Dolf, like I said, you find the confident one, you find the one you have to work for. She’s busy, we’re all busy, but she won’t readily give up all her time, because she doesn’t need you. And thats a GOOD sign. So I say, work at it, she just knows how to play the game (some games are necessary). So work at it, put the effort in and suddenly you may find that she might have a little bit more free time. But don’t go expecting to be getting laid anytime soon, because us self confident girls know how to make you work for that too. In the end, its worth it and you appreciate it so much more. And as for being Canadian, well I live with two of them and they are fantastic people. Good luck, dear.

(For all the women out there who don’t get it…I highly recommend reading “Why Men Love Bitches. It will revolutionize your life.)

By: mistermanly

mistermanly — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 16:57:58 +0000

Hi dolf,

I lived in Saskatoon for two years. They’re good people up there, and the farmers are an especially hardy lot. Hope it works out for you.

Mister Manly

By: dolf

dolf — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 10:48:02 +0000

Ah, yes. Certainly if you are married or even living with somebody you do owe them a courtesy call and, to some extent you do owe an explanation of your time. I once told my sister that I did not owe her an explanation of what I was doing as I was not married to her. I informed her that if she wanted that she could go ask her husband as he agreed to share his life with her. (I am told that I usually am a little blunt.)

I do not want to come across as being somebody who does not understand that relationships are give and take and that talking is a good thing. This came about after two guys told me that, in effect, if I wanted a long term relationship like they had with their wife / girlfriend I needed to give up all of my freedom and submit to the idea that 3 calls in an hour to check how I am doing is acceptable and I need to answer each of them.

I can only marvel at how meddlingshroo seemed to hit on the issue. I have had one or two healthy relationships and they were exactly as she describes. A confident woman with self esteem is the answer to all. There is one in my life and it is just a little hard to figure out if we are compatible as she is always busy if I am free and I am busy when she is free. We seem to find time to see each other once every two weeks and are lucky to talk once a week. It does make the time we spend together a little more valuable but it is hard to really know somebody when you don’t / can’t spend a little more time with them. Oh, she is from Saskatchewan and was raised on a farm…

By: Girly

Girly — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 16:18:11 +0000

Very well said B!! My husband and I have the same understanding…. I don’t care where he goes or how long he will be, he works hard and deserves to go out with the guys… but, I deserve a courtesy call!

By: betme

betme — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 15:14:48 +0000

It really is all about trust.

I trust that Mr. J knows, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I will use the nail gun and nail him to the wall if he abuses my open trust and neglectfully abstains from giving me a courtesy call when he plans to make the guys night an all-nighter.

Yep, it is all about trust. Trust me, I’ll do it.

It is not a lack of trust that has me asking Mr. J to check in from time to time. I need him to call so that I know I don’t need to worry about him being in an unconscious bloody heap in the bayou.

It is not trust or lack thereof. It is respect for each other that has us picking up the phone. Consider it a life-line, not a choke collar.

By: mistermanly

mistermanly — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 14:09:36 +0000

Hi meddlingshro,

Well said and a most welcome contribution to the discussion. Thanks.

Mister Manly

By: meddlingshro

meddlingshro — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 11:46:45 +0000

As a self reliant girl, who hates most girls because they give the rest of us a bad name, the key is finding one with self-esteem. Albeit, that is tough. You find the one who doesn’t need explanations because she trusts you, because ultimately she loves herself. If you love yourself enough, you wouldn’t date someone you didn’t trust. With that, she has her own hobbies and certainly doesn’t have enough time to be calling you 5 times in an hour and quite frankly doesnt have time to badger you about every detail of the night.

You find the girl with self-esteem and you find the one you have to work for. She will not so readily call you or do whatever you want. She won’t ask you where you going, cause she really doesn’t care. Jealously doesn’t exist and over analyzing facets of relationships that dont exist either doesnt happen. Self esteem is really what makes relationships work because it keeps either of you from being needy or depending on the other for happiness, support and basic needs (and that is neither manly or womanly )

If I figured it out at 21, millions of women worldwide can out too, good luck.