Being a man, I like to measure things as exactly as possible. You can tell we like that sort of thing by looking at all the things we’ve made up scales for: hurricanes, tornadoes, earthquakes, etc. Thus, in an attempt to make my advice clearer, I’ve developed the Manly Scale. It goes like this:
As you can see, being more manly than most, I’m not settling for one of those tiny scales that runs up to 5 or 10. The Manly Scale has a full range of 201 Manly Units to work with and will, hopefully, allow me to give more explicit advice. For instance, to define the manliness of bar fights we have:
fighting +25 MU (Manly Units)
drinking +40 MU
night in jail -50 MU
lost front tooth +15 MU
new scar +20 MU
$850 charge for damages to bar -15 MU
banned from favorite bar -25 MU
sleeping on couch for a week -15 MU
total: -5 MU
Thus, in this instance, a bar fight, while fun, is not manly.
I can hardly wait to apply this to a real request for advice, so keep those emails coming.