Another one from email:
I need help. Recently my two flatmate’s (both of whom have long term girlfriends back home that they live with) told me that I needed to change if I wanted to be successful in a long term relationship.
You have to understand that they told me that I did not need to change many things; just that I needed to make big changes in the things in need of attention. In their words, I am “what every guy USED to be.” I am too independent and hell bent not to answer to anybody for my actions. If I want to go out for the night I will not accept that I need to give an explanation of my exact plans. When I return home the next day I refuse to have somebody badgering me to give an account of my actions. According to them most women find this unacceptable and therefore, rather than look for that .01% who can abide by how I am I should change to become more like them. This would entail answering the phone ALL 5 times that a woman may call over the course of two hours and talking about how work was for well over an hour. This means taking one minute to explain to her each seven and a half minutes that I actually worked. “Work was fine” is unacceptable to their women.
Do I need to change and loose my independence, and, by extension much of what makes me a man in order to attract a long term mate?
-the man that every man used to be.
Your flatmates are wimps, and quite possibly homosexual. Odds are that the girlfriends they claim to have are just a cover story to camouflage the affair they’re having with each other. Ignore their advice at all costs. For that matter, unless they do all the housework, you should consider moving out to escape their unmanly influence.
As to changing yourself, that’s not easy to do, well, without drugs anyway, and even if you accomplish it, there’s no guarantee that it’ll make finding the right woman any easier or more certain. Besides, that would be turning your life into a lie, and lying is not manly, -10 MU. Independence, on the other hand, is very manly, somewhere in the neighborhood of +30 MU. So it sounds like you’re fine just the way you are, and I don’t see that being pussy whipped is going to make you any happier, although it will make you less manly, -25 MU.
Now, go have some fun while you still can.