Since my in box is empty, except for spam offering assistance if I need to expand the size of my male anatomy or offering pills to restore functionality to it, neither of which is a requirement at the moment, here are some more manly gift ideas.
A man never knows when he’ll get the urge to go a viking or turn pirate, so it’s manly to prepare for the call. This,
is an authentic Scottish Officer’s Basket Hilted Sword from the Victorian era. It’s a bit pricey at £1850.00, twice that in US dollars, but it’s one of the best swords ever made, at least in this price range, and if you’re going to get into a sword fight, it would be a fine choice. It would also make a mighty fine focus for the decor of a man’s den, not to mention that it’s value should increase nicely over the years.
For a fight of a different kind, with meat and vegetables in the kitchen, I suggest this,
While it’s not quite the best chef’s knife in the world, the Kasumi Titanium Chef Knife comes close. The titanium coating makes it rust proof and extremely durable, while the blending of that metal with an exotic high carbon steel alloy makes the hand crafted edge sharper than most people would believe possible, which means it must be treated with respect or the user will loose a finger or three. Still, if your man likes to cook, at $150 this is a manly and practical gift that should give years of fine service and be one of those items your children fight over when you die.
It would be wrong to neglect power tools,
such as this Yard Machine Model: 24A-452G500 wood chipper. While this is not a professional quality machine, only being able to grind 2 inch diameter branches into chips, at around $900 it’s a good choice for occasional use, and provides a goodly bit of manly excitement after a storm. There’s also something in this for you ladies, as wood chips make excellent mulch for your flower beds and/or they make a really good addition to the compost heap.
Moving up a step in manly power tools,
we have the chain saw. Few common power tools have the manliness of these cutting beasts. They’re loud, dangerous, and give off noxious vapors, much like the man wielding it. If you don’t have the time or endurance to chop that wood up with an ax, you have to have one of these. The one pictured is a Stihl MS 250 C-BE with a 12 inch bar. I own, roughly, the same model, but with a 16 inch bar, so I can personally testify that it’s a cutting demon. I have, once, driven mine straight into a tree with almost no effort. It’s also easy to start, for a chain saw, and requires very little maintenance. Even better, it’s amazingly dependable. We heat with wood, so my saw gets a good deal of use, and in the three years I’ve owned it the only mechanical problem I’ve had was a cracked fuel line, that cost less than $20 to fix. While prices vary around the country, they are selling for around $300 here near Memphis.
Here’s a great manly gift idea for city dwellers, an introductory welding kit,
That one is a a basic one from Lowes, but it’s a marvelous starter set and a big boost to your local manliness manly rating. At less than $300, and the risk that your man will fill your yard up with metal sculptures, it’s a good gift that he’ll never see coming.
If you don’t want to shell out the big bucks, or encourage your man to risk life and limb, try this,
Go to your local liquor store and pick up a bottle of their best single malt Scotch whisky. That’ll probably run you less than $100 and, even if he doesn’t drink the stuff, just having the bottle on display will give him a manliness boost from his friends, which is a worthwhile goal.
Along the same lines, but with a slightly more practical purpose,
is a good first aid kit. This one runs around $30, but just having it in your vehicle or workshop implies that you would treat any injuries you might suffer yourself, and continue working. This is extremely manly.
If you want to give your man a manly hobble that you might enjoy as well, point him toward home brewing.
Not only is making your own beer mucho manly, but it’s a hobby that takes up a lot of time, makes a good conversation piece at parties, and doesn’t really cost that much. The above photo shows a good starter kit, the Mr.Beer® Deluxe Edition Beer Kit, which runs a little less than $40, and is a good test for interest in this arcane art before investing in more complex equipment.