More advice to Patrick

Patrick writes:


I would like to get my second assessment on the MU scale. Below are some activities I remember doing the past week:

-stubborn refusal to edit, rewrite, and complete stories and send in submissions

-counted the number of mosquito bites on my body

-popped a couple pills of Cold-Fx when didn’t get enough sleep the night before; popped a couple more before attending a function that certainly involved handshakes with many people jetlagged and returning from a week of traveling.

-wore 2 layers of clothing and thermal underwear while playing football in the summer sun

-refused being set up with a woman from Hong Kong, despite my relatives’ incessant urging and encourgement, and worries that my single life will cause mental health problems

-decided not to eat BBQ at a function because afraid of requesting the cook not to burn it, because that may lead meat to be under cooked; and afraid to request cook to cook it well, because that may burn it or leave grill marks, and cause fear in carcinogens

-rode my bike to work for the first time ever on a day which was actually my holiday


Starting at the top:

Writing is not manly unless you use hammer and chisel on a stone tablet, however, stubborn refusal is manly, for a combined score of 0 MU.

Noticing a mosquito bite is not manly, -15 MU.  Counting them is neurotic, which is, in this case, not manly, -5 MU.

Real men don’t get colds/flu, or at least don’t pay attention to such trivial illnesses, -25 MU.

This one depends on the reason for your excessive clothing.  If you were testing your limits at withstanding heat stroke, +23 MU.  Otherwise, -10 MU and see your doctor ASAP.  In either case, playing football, +12 MU.

It’s not manly to be set up for a date, +18 MU.  +5 MU for resisting incessant urging from your relatives.

BBQ is slow cooked with low heat and is almost impossible to burn.  Normally, only large quantities of meat, 10 pounds or more in one hunk, are cooked in this manner, so it is also not cooked to order.  Not knowing about such a manly food, -18 MU.  Fear of carcinogens, -12 MU.

Riding a bike in traffic is dangerous enough to be manly, unless, of course, you shave your legs to reduce atmospheric drag, +17 MU.  Going to work on a holiday is not manly, -6 MU.

Overall, it looks like you’re in positive numbers.  Good work.

Mister Manly


5 Responses to More advice to Patrick

  1. Patrick says:

    I laughed at your idea of shaving legs to reduce atmospheric drag. I’ve shaved my head before for that same purpose…but didn’t think about other parts….

    I don’t know…these days….MU scale…everything else…..very, very equivocal kind of feeling….
    It’s like holding my own hand while refusing to let myself go…


  2. mistermanly says:

    Hi Patrick,

    Shaving your head is manly, +15 MU. As to leg depilating, I worked with a fellow who did just that and for the reason given above.

    As to your feelings, time usually takes care of such things. In the meantime, watch more John Wayne movies and go bowling more often.

    Mister Manly

  3. livininsanity says:

    A good way to be manly is to enter a hot dog eating contest. And win!

  4. mistermanly says:

    Hi l,

    Excellent suggestion. Both eating contests and winning are very manly.

    Mister Manly

  5. […] trick and get us through the work day until we can shower at home? How would this method rate on Mr. Manly’s Manly scale? Would he […]

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