Advice for Sue

Sue writes:

Dear Mr. Manly,

My world has fallen apart and I desperately need your advice. My boyfriend, and the one I was hoping was Mr. Right, is the kind of guy you feel safe with in public, although not in private, if you know what I mean. Really, he looks so tough that street gang thugs cross the street to avoid confrontations with him. The only tiny flaw, or so I thought, he has is that he always has his ear phones on, listening to his MP3 player. Things were fine until, last week, I checked his play list while he was in the shower. OMG, it’s all Barry Manilow! I can’t look him in the eyes anymore! Please Help.

Sincerely,
Sue

Dear Sue,

This is a more common problem than you think in our modern society.  Men are encouraged to develop an outward image, but never instructed on the inner development to match it.  Relax, it could be much worse.  Your man could be a Yanni fan or, in an extreme case, a David Hasselhoff fan.

Your best bet to man up your guy’s mind is to lock him in the bedroom one weekend.  Be sure to leave two large meat-lover’s pizza and a case of beer in plain sight.  Then push your stereo speakers against the door and play the CD you burn of the following songs over and over again until he can repeat all of the lyrics.  While that process is in progress, take a hammer to his girly MP3 player and replace it with a large and manly boom box. 

Bad To The Bone (George Thorogood & The Destroyers)

Radar Love (Golden Earring)

Born To Be Wild (Steppenwolf)

Bat Out Of Hell (Meatloaf)

Lawyers, Guns & Money (Warron Zevon)

A Pirate Looks At Forty (Jimmy Buffett)

A Boy Named Sue (Johny Cash)

Tangled Up In Blue (Bob Dylan)

Saturday Nights Alright (For Fighting)  (Elton John)

Copperhead Road (Steve Earle)

Bad, Bad Leroy Brown (Jim Croce)

Play those at top volume and remember to stop every two or three resets to see if he can scream a close rendition of the lyrics.  Once he can, make sure you have a hot pizza and some more beer waiting and let him out.  It might be a good idea to have some male friends over to watch sports with him while his mind adjusts.

Good luck,

Mister Manly

P.S.  With this need in mind, I have added a Manly Song of the Week feature to the side bar.

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14 Responses to Advice for Sue

  1. […] Be sure to leave two large meat-lover’s pizza and a case of beer in plain … Source: Advice for Sue Who Would Be A Worse Mom? Paris or Lindsey? Vote Now And Get A Free iPhone. David Hasselhoff […]

  2. Girly says:

    😆 You are so wise…

    However, I do think a few other things could be added to “man him up”…. but, I won’t go there. 😉

  3. Girly says:

    I am going to swipe a few of these songs…. Radar Love…Bad to the Bone…. and Born to Be Wild 😛

    Thank you!

  4. mistermanly says:

    Hi Girly,

    I suspect your refusal to travel is a good thing 🙂

    As to the songs, I must confess that I’ve become somewhat obsessed with hunting out free MP3s now that I finally have high speed Internet access. The number of songs available is fascinating. If there are any you’re particularly interested in I’ll be happy to keep an eye out for them.

    Mister Manly

  5. Girly says:

    😆

    Oh.. I will keep that in mind! Thanks!

  6. Great list.

    I would like to add three (two from incredible men that are already on your list.)

    Johny Cash – San Quinten
    George Thorogood & The Destroyers – One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer.
    Iggy Pop – Real Wild One

  7. mistermanly says:

    Hi Girly,

    It’s a standing offer.

    Hi Kevin,

    Excellent selections, particularly the Iggy Pop tune. I had a few more myself, but haven’t found them royalty free yet. If I can find your suggested songs in that state, I’ll certainly add them to my Manly Song rotation.

    Mister Manly

  8. MJ says:

    Hmm. Good song list. I like the idea of a regular song list from you.
    I will consistently check the boyfriend’s iTunes to it.
    For now, I think it’s up to date with this list.

  9. mistermanly says:

    Hi MJ,

    Thank you. That’s good news about your boyfriend’s taste in music 😉

    Mister Manly

  10. Teen Advisor says:

    Good to see other people doling out helpful advice.

  11. mistermanly says:

    Hi TA,

    One does what one can.

    Mister Manly

  12. […] man could be a Yanni fan or, in an extreme case, a David Hasselhoff fan…. Source: Advice for Sue Who Would Be A Worse Mom? Paris or Lindsey? Vote Now And Get A Free iPhone. David Hasselhoff […]

  13. Pure Evyl says:

    Great tunes. I only think that it is really hard to take Elton John seriously as a manly singer of manly songs. I would also like to add Metallica’s, ‘So What.’

  14. mistermanly says:

    Hi Evyl,

    You are correct that Sir Elton presents a far from manly spectacle. The song, however, is quite manly. I’ll add your selection to the list, so keep an eye on the Manly Song Of The Week feature.

    Mister Manly

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