Manly girl gifts, 2

The last time I wrote about topic, MJ seemed to want some hints on lingerie that men like. Here are some hints.

I may be showing my age, but Mister Manly would give this to his wife in a minute, if he thought there was any chance in Hell of her wearing it.


This should perk things up while y’all are reading the Sunday paper.  Don’t start on a long article, as I suspect you will have your reading interupted.

Something like this is quite appropriate for serving dinner, particularly if you don’t want him to clean his plate.

If your hints about what you want to do are a bit too subtle for him to catch:

OK, this isn’t really lingerie, but it’s definitely worth mentioning.  Flavored temporary tattoos.  Much more manly than a lollipop, and you know how men feel about ASKING for directions.

It’s all too easy for a couple to fall into a habit of watching TV instead of talking.  Slip into this during a commercial break on Law and Order, and I suspect you’ll have to find out who killed who in reruns.

This one isn’t necessarily for your man’s benefit, but if you make a habit of wearing it to walk out and get the mail and/or carry out the trash, you will quickly find that he takes over those chores.

Men like sports.  Most of them don’t get the chance to participate, and some of those over compensate by watching far too many games on TV.  If your man is really going overboard in this way, and ignoring you, bring him a beer and some chips & dip wearing this, and he’ll have to catch the final result on the radio in the morning.

Have I mentioned that, much like cats, men like tassels?  If your man is not pawing at you enough, this outfit will surely correct the situation.

There are those times in any relationship when some minor thing becomes a major issue.  When you are ready to defuse the situation and make up…

Of course, there are those couples who are just in a rut.  One of you does the house work and the other spends weekends fixing stuff around the house.  If you ladies are looking to interest your man into making the weekend work a shared experience, let him see you pushing a vacuum cleaner or replacing an electrical outlet in this, and keeping your house in shape will quickly become a joint venture.

For any occasions I’ve missed, this should do.

Mister Manly

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36 Responses to Manly girl gifts, 2

  1. Virgil Hart says:

    Long tassles in the dark = Like fighting a giant octopus…

    Except that fighting a giant octopus is ALWAYS awesome, and the emulation of doing so, does nothing to detract from how great sex is, to be honest, the only thing better than sex is drunk sex that feels like you’re fighting an octopus for the first 5 mins.

  2. Virgil Hart says:

    Also, you shouldn’t be revealing to women secrets regarding how to make men do things, like go out to pick up bins or get the morning news paper… You’re selling out your own!

  3. Excellent post. Many married men like myself overlook the importance of lingerie to keeping the spark alive. Good stuff.

  4. livininsanity says:

    Mister Manly,

    As usual, some great suggestions. However, don’t men like ALL lingerie?

  5. sensualist says:

    Livininsanity~I have a friend who’s husband detests lingerie. The nerve!

    Mr. Manly~YOU are divine! While I’m not too excited about the teal thing as it covers entirely too much, the rest are scrumptious. Even the I Dream of Jeanie thing would be a wee bit fun. I would be ever grateful if you shared the links to some of these sites. I love lingerie as does my man.

  6. Ben says:

    This is absolutely my favorite endorsement blog post by anyone, anywhere. You rock.

  7. sensualist says:

    Mister Manly~I am impressed and astounded. Thank you! I will be a busy woman today. Possibly some of these and more will show up on me on my site!

  8. mistermanly says:

    Hi s,

    Well, I shall certainly keep an eye out for that treat.

    Mister Manly

  9. Sarah says:

    Mister Manly,

    Just be sure said lingerie is easily reovable. there is nothing less manly than a man struggling with lacey underthings.

    Sarah M.

  10. mistermanly says:

    Hi Sarah,

    Most of it looks to be just barely staying on as it is, so removal shouldn’t be much trouble. On the other hand, men like a challenge, and the woman involved might enjoy the process as he probes the garments to discover where the fasteners are located. On the gripping hand, at worst he’ll get impatient and just rip the lingerie off, which could also be fun.

    Mister Manly

  11. writerchick says:

    Hey Mr. Man,
    Why thank you ever so much for the fashion tips and relationship advice. Can’t imagine how I missed any of this what with all the catalogues that hit my mailbox on a daily basis. Any pictorials on what men should be wearing for their ladies? Or perhaps it’s just a smile? 😉
    Annie

  12. Dear Mister Manly,
    You’ll be hearing from my lawyers in the morning. When I offered to let you browse through my old scrapbook of “ex-girlfriends,” I had no idea that treachery was afoot.
    Those photographs were “for personal consumption only.” I only shared them with you, because you live in close proximity to Graceland, and therefore lack exposure to culture, and “fine arts.”
    And now that you’ve obviously sold them to other unspeakable tabloids and URL’s, I’m sure it will have repercussions on any further “occasional visitations” I might have intended…
    Stupid me… I sought to expand your personal horizons, not your readership!
    Consider our friendship tainted by your heinous act…
    RR

  13. mistermanly says:

    Hi WC,

    I would think tips on how men should dress for romantic encounters might be better presented by a woman. You for instance 😉

    Hi RR,

    Resorting to lawyers is hardly manly. I would also point out that disparaging remarks about Graceland will eventually land you in all kinds of trouble. Keep in mind that there are fanatics, and then there are FANATICS, and you are poking some of the worst with a pointy stick.
    Mister Manly

  14. Hmmmmphf!
    I called the lawyers, because (due to the great distance between us) dueling pistols at dawn seems “inappropriate.” Besides that, I’m getting older, and I haven’t the strength to shoulderfire an artillery piece any longer…
    And as for Graceland Fanatics, that’s why we have fences… and tasers…
    And, the best way to determine if you’ve beaten someone senseless, is to poke them with a pointy stick…

  15. mistermanly says:

    Hi RR,

    I’ll be passing through your neck of the woods early next year, and will be happy to drop by and shoot you. If I understand our travel plans correctly, it will have to be pistols at noon instead of dawn. Or perhaps a bit latter. The train, after all, gets there when it gets there. As to the Graceland situation, do you really think stun guns and pawn shop owners can stop a crazed mob of Elvis impersonators?

    Mister Manly

  16. Oh goodie! I’ll inform my “second.” I haven’t had the opportunity to shoot anybody in ages… (My wife hid my pistols! Damn that woman!)
    And I’ll get extra points, as you’re a “foreigner.” You’re from Tennessee! Ka-ching!
    I won’t hold my breath waiting for the train, so just get here when you get here. It’ll give me a chance to take a nap, before I walk all the way out onto the front porch to dispatch you.
    FYI: I lived in Vegas long enough to know that tazers work just fine on Elvis Impersonators… In fact, if you choreograph it correctly, it’s just like Hillbilly ballet… Fire one… annna two… and fire two… anna three… Bzzzzzzzt!
    I ain’t skeeered…
    Maybe we’ll agree to just wound each other, and heal our ills over a good bottle of Scotch. ‘Cuz chicks dig scars… LOL!

  17. And how did you know I get my “50,000 volt tasers” from a “fence?”
    That was supposed to be a secret!
    Is there no end to your treachery?

  18. mistermanly says:

    Hi RR,

    I’m thinking that, since we will be heading for New Orleans, you should just meet me there. We’ll find a place that serves something you Jews are allowed to eat, suck down a bottle of Scotch with the meal, and have some fun shooting up Bourbon Street before the cops club us into submission. Don’t worry if you’re having trouble finding a pistol. I’ll bring my matched set of Glock 45s or, if you’re a stickler for historical accuracy, I have a friend who would most likely loan me his set of muzzle loading dueling pistols. Swords, knives, or bare hands are also acceptable to me. For that matter, we can settle this with rental cars in the parking lot of your choice for all I care.

    Mister Manly

  19. Oh sure…
    Glocks are cool, as long as you’re inside about 7 yards… after that, well, we may end up killing innocent bystanders. Oh wait, we’ll be in New Orleans! Nobody’s innocent there! Right? No worries…
    “Rental Cars in the Round” sounds good too, as long as we don’t smash up any American cars… I have no problem killing an import or two… LOL!
    Why don’t we just agree to duel with “kosher donuts,” and then use them to distract the cops, while we run away, after creating a public nuisance?? Hmmm?
    Just have your people call my people…

  20. mistermanly says:

    Hi RR,

    Well, since you admit that you can’t shoot worth spit, and considering that I would never bet my life on the functionality of a foreign car, and that donuts are no longer my favorite food, it would seem that the only fair way to settle this is with a kosher hot dog eating contest. As I suspect you understand, it’s obvious that the normal rules, which judge the winner on how many dogs he can eat in a short amount of time, are hardly sufficient to settle our dispute, I’m thinking that our contest should be one without time limit, but which confines our liquid intake to single malt Scotch, and is completely based on how many hot dogs we shove down before passing out or puking. While, I admit, this may not be sufficient to settle our dispute, it does sound like fun, and I offer it up as an alternative.

    Mister Manly

  21. Pure Evyl says:

    And if only I could find a big enough bottle that Jeannie outfit would be all the better.

  22. MJ says:

    😀 I LOVE this post! Your best yet. Thanks for posting the links too, as I was a little disappointed they weren’t listed at first. And thanks for the link love.

  23. What? I think all these “Marksman” medals contradict your feeble little theory. I just pointed out that .45 is prone to “flight” after about 7 yards, and I didn’t want your estate to have to bear the costs of extensive litigation, when you “accidentally” killed an on-looker…
    After all, if there’s gonna be gunplay, I’m selling tickets…
    And the use of “foreign cars” would at least take a few more little beer cans off the road, so they could be crushed up, to make something useful, like another beer can… to put BEER into…
    And, it’s unAmerican to harbor ill feelings towards donuts… What kind of “Manly Man” are you, huh? Onna them subversive commie types, who eats couscous, and smothers your grits in curry? Hmmm?
    Okay, kosher hot dogs it is… but I get to pick the Scotch… I’ll go easy on you, and pick one you can afford…
    It’ll be a hoot…
    The “Hatfields and McCoys” got nothing on me…

  24. mistermanly says:

    Hi Evyl,

    Remember to poke some holes in the lid.

    Mister Manly

  25. mistermanly says:

    Hi MJ,

    And thank you for the inspiration for the post. I didn’t post the links originally because lingerie appears to be a tremendously popular thing to sell on line, and most of the providers carry the same things, or so it seemed after several hours of browsing 🙂

    Hi RR,

    Modern 45s are much more accurate than that. Still, if people feel threatened, you can not only sell tickets but rent body armor.

    Mister Manly

  26. Hey! “Commerce AND carnage…” Now you’re talkin!
    Are you SURE you ain’t Jewish? Perhaps a “Brother by another Mother?”
    ‘Cuz I have a rule about shooting kinfolk…
    I shoot them twice, just to make sure… LOL!
    (Because “single headshots get lonely…”)
    How about a “Butter-Fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches” Death Match? With Graceland being so close by, I bet we could sell thousands of tickets…
    Man, I feel my arteries hardening, already!

  27. mistermanly says:

    Hi RR,

    Actually, I was Jewish by marriage for a while. Then my stepsister left him.

    Mister Manly

  28. Whaaa?
    You became Jewish because your stepsister married one of “The Chosen Ones?” So, you were in a “matrimonial menage a trois” with your stepsister and her husband? Oh, that’s just not right…
    Talk about TMI! (Too much information!)
    I must be reading this wrong… I hope I’m reading this wrong… I pray I’m reading this wrong…
    You NEED to be shot… See? It’s that “Graceland Continuum” thing again… Elvis was EVIL, man! LOL!
    Don’t tell anybody else that, huh? It’ll only come back to haunt you…
    I gotta go now, I gotta wash my mind out with soap… Comments like yours can’t possibly be “kosher…”
    Shalom, you poor bastard…

  29. mistermanly says:

    Hi RR,

    Then I’m certain that you’ll be happy to know that I’m also one eighth Native American by marriage because my Grandfather’s first wife was a full blooded Cherokee woman. Oh wait, are you trying to say that, just because someone has a relative marry an individual with minority status they don’t get part of it? Well that’s hardly fair! I think you have far too narrow a view about these things.

    As to my parents, they were married. You are, however, correct about the “poor” part.

    Mister Manly

  30. What’s that I hear? Hmmm?
    Moses just rolled over in his grave…
    I’m glad your parents were “married.” For a while there I was starting to think they might be brother and sister… Whew! Am I ever glad we cleared THAT up…
    And being impoverished isn’t so bad… It’s a big club!
    (…and by your logic, everybody in that pool is related too?) Oy Vay!

  31. mistermanly says:

    Hi RR,

    I’m glad you are finally starting to get my point. That being I’ll be happy to make a joke, or kick your ass, and the butt of Mosses if required, assuming you can dig his bones up an get them moving again.

    As to being poor, I’ll be quite pleased to put my fist in the face of any rich twit who wants to mock me for it. My motto has always been that anyone who comes to my door in need, I’ll feed, and anyone who comes to my door looking for a fight will get more than they bargained for.

    Mister Manly

  32. You made a point? All by yourself? My, what a big boy you are… LOL!
    You can laugh, and you can joke, but when you start threatening Moses, well… it’s gonna get bad for you… One “KOSHER” ASSKICKIN’, COMING UP!
    And you ain’t the only poor bastard in these parts, you know me well enough to know “where” I live… bucko…
    I love it when you talk tough… So I guess I’m headed to your porch… Get the groceries ready, and the band-aids too. You’re about to get an Ass-whuppin Johnny Cash style;
    “By a non-Goy named Jew…”
    Okay… okay… I’m laughin my ass off, but we’re wasting a ton of bandwidth on this nonsense… Truce…

  33. mistermanly says:

    Hi RR,

    Agreed.

    Mister Manly

  34. Girly says:

    Nice post….. and even though it seems like a waste of money to purchase these types of things because they usually don’t stay on for very long… I suppose it’s sort of like opening a present on your birthday or christmas…

  35. mistermanly says:

    Hi Girly,

    Exactly.

    Mister Manly

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