Manly instructional videos

I have had it mentioned to me that the younger generations don’t respond well to written instructions.  Thus, I think it may be worth my effort to feature examples of visual media that teach lessons on manliness.  The first one is:

From which we can learn several points on being manly.

1.  Never hit a woman.  Unless, of course, she’s some amazon athlete type and you are having a friendly sporting competition.  Or, unless she asks you to.  So, to clarify this point, never hit a woman in anger, and then never very hard. 

2.  Always go armed.  Most of the time you won’t need a gun, but, in those rare instances where the use of firearms is appropriate, it’s not at all likely that you will be able to call “time out” and have the leisure to go home and fetch your pistol.

3.  Upon making bail, it’s usually wise to spend a day or two with your parents, so you have time to get a feel for the situation that has developed from your actions that landed you in jail.  A good part of acting manly is based on understanding the mess you’re in, and preparing for the consequences.

4.  If you are lucky enough to attract a woman who smokes, drinks, and still looks as hot as the babe in this video, examine your motives several times before doing something to piss her off.  Really, there are an astounding number of people wondering around that deserve to be pissed off, so why crap so close to home?

5.  A shotgun usually trumps machismo.

In summary, to be a good hunter it’s necessary to think ahead, so it’s manly to do so.

This instructional video is by Miranda Lambert performing “Gunpowder & Lead.”

 Mister Manly

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25 Responses to Manly instructional videos

  1. sensualist says:

    Primo advice Mister Manly. I must say she’s a sexy and smart. It would be just cheesy to say “if this helps just one person…” So, what I’ll say is, if idiot men would dig their brains out of their pants and realize women shouldn’t be treated like ragdolls, then they could just have a sexy shooting partner at the firing range. That’s where my man and I get loaded (and I mean the guns).

  2. Pure Evyl says:

    As a man that has lived with one redhead and married another, I might add never add more fuel to the fire than you can handle being burned.

  3. Okay it’s a hot redhead with a shotgun, and a shirt just waiting to untie itself…
    I’m sorry MM, did you say something? Were you trying to make a point? All by yourself? AGAIN? Didn’t you learn anything from the last time you did that? Hmmm?
    I know you were trying to tell us something… I must have missed it while I was “concentrating…”
    And did you know that Jews invented red hair? Yep.
    The tribe of “Henna,” bred into the tribe of “Oy Vay! He’s hung like a Stallion…”
    And now, they’re everywhere! Ain’t we cool?
    Just remember, Campers… “Red=Dead. Eventually… In Biblical Proportions. It’s a law of Nature, after all. Ask Darwin! (or a coral snake)”
    I know… I know… I’m gonna regret it, but I just can’t help myself…

  4. MJ says:

    Love that song. Love Miranda Lambert. You should look up the song “Dry Town” – it will make you laugh.

    Oh and I will reiterate what I have said before: hitting a woman=most unmanly thing ever.

    Oh and in the case of me: hitting armed woman=dumbest thing ever.

  5. livininsanity says:

    Good video, I guess, but was I supposed to learn something? Wait, are those words below the video? Am I supposed to read those?

  6. mistermanly says:

    Hi s,

    You are correct. Alcohol and guns don’t mix well.

    Hi Evyl,

    Good advice.

    Hi MJ,

    I’ll check out that song. Your “Ohs” are correct and well stated.

    Hi l,

    Only if you’re trying to increase your manliness.

    Mister Manly

  7. livininsanity says:

    Manliness? I only understand pictures and videos.

  8. mistermanly says:

    Hi l,

    Then just play the video again and ignore the rest. I would, however, point out that I do a good deal of visual stuff over at http://britandgrit.com/

    Mister Manly

  9. Virgil Hart says:

    This song is mantastic!

    I’d totally take her out for a nice sea food dinner, then never call her back…

  10. mistermanly says:

    Hi VH,

    Glad you liked it/her.

    Mister Manly

  11. livininsanity says:

    MM – I’m no two-timer.

  12. mistermanly says:

    Hi l,

    Perhaps you’re not getting enough vitamins in your diet?

    Mister Manly

  13. Sarah says:

    Go her !
    and yea. Wow shes hot.

    Agreeing with MJ when you say- hitting an armed woman, dumbest thing EVER.

    cant wait for my taser:)

  14. mistermanly says:

    Hi Sarah,

    It does seem to be the consensus that she’s hot. I won’t give my opinion as, well, my wife may get around to reading this and, it’s not worth the potential trouble.

    As to tasers, I feel compelled to point out that they are not at all manly. On the other hand, neither are you, so have fun with it.

    Mister Manly

  15. Silly MM…
    Tasers aren’t supposed to be “Manly.”
    They’re supposed to be “entertaining…”
    Everybody knows that “A Taser Armed Jew, will get a laugh outta you… or else…”

  16. mistermanly says:

    Hi RR,

    True, as far as it goes. However, in case you have yet to catch the numerous clues as to the theme of this blog, its focus is on how to be manly, not how to be Jewish. While the two concepts may well overlap in some ways, and while it’s manly to be open, somewhat, to other points of view, I sincerely hope that you’ll allow me the luxury of keeping to my theme without having to track you down and beat you into agreeing with me.

    On a side note, I will admit that, being as outnumbered as you Jews are, I can fully understand how you might be forced, at times, into resorting to unmanly actions. Really, if facing overwhelming odds, I’m sure I’d shoot as many unarmed opponents as time allowed.

    Still, in a real fight, tasers aren’t worth the effort of carrying them. Seriously, if you can’t knock your opponent to the ground and torture him by grinding his testicles into the soil with the heal of your boot, perhaps you should practice more?

    On the subject of you ladies using said implement, my advice is that, once you have used it to incapacitate any “man” who has offered you offense as depicted in the above video, give him five or six shots to the nads, or however many your piece of hardware will deliver. Really ladies, while it may take a bit of extra effort, we all need to do what we can to improve our species!

    Mister Manly

  17. Hey, I was only pointing out the “comic effect” that 50,000 volts can have on a fella… You can’t be all serious all the time…
    And “…grinding his testicles into the soil with the heal of your boot… ” sounds a little fascist to me…
    If you plan on “beating me into agreeing with you…” you’d better bring a lunch, because you’re gonna be there all day… I suggest Wheaties… And I’ll send you a map to my place, so you don’t get lost…
    And you obviously don’t know much about Jews… We try not to shoot “unarmed” opponents… but as most of our opponents have arms, and even hands… it usually isn’t a problem. Because shooting an amputee would be “unsporting…”
    Shalom, you bastard…

  18. mistermanly says:

    Hi RR,

    Well, I can certainly see the practical joke usefulness of a taser, and I can even see its potential as a teaching tool, still, I must maintain my position that, as a combat weapon, it’s not manly.

    As to your fascist reference, I suppose if I thought there was a chance my nuts would be under the heel, I’d agree with you.

    As to knowing Jews, well, no man uses firearms if he has a choice. Really, my list of preferential fighting methods goes:

    Hand to hand, allowing me to hit, kick twist, bend and so on my opponent into submission, allowing him the chance to think about what he did to piss me off while he recovers in the hospital, and, hopefully, change his ways so as not to make the same mistake again.

    Knives. Well, if you really want a scar, and a lot of blood loss…

    Guns. Well, if you really have a death wish…

    Oh, and swords and such. Love it. Most people now days don’t understand the art. Truly, there is no more manly way to settle a dispute between two men than to enter into combat with edged weapons in a formal setting. It’s the most equatable fight possible, giving equal weight to all elements of the physical man, size, strength, stamina, and speed, leaving the decision hanging on conditioning, will and skill alone.

    In my opinion, the world would be much better off if all disputes were settled in this way. Oh, oh, and if I remember my Biblical readings correctly, given that match between David and Goliath, you pretty much have to agree 🙂

    Mister Manly

  19. Oh my gawd…
    Finally, we agree on something… at least in principle…
    (But I still think tasers are a hoot, and much more efficient than “waterboarding…”)
    As I used to teach Krav Maga during my “other life…” and I spent many years in an Aikido dojo, whilst growing up the whipping boy of Marine parents, I couldn’t agree with you more about hand to hand, or “contact combat.” I also “fenced” as a college athlete, and I ain’t talkin about hot VCR’s… I have a bokken sitting by my front door… It makes a cool sound, when you snap your wrist the right way… against an unruly skull… THWACK!
    However, where hand-to-hand combat is concerned, the best and most valued “Manly” lesson I learned was that learning “how,” also taught me about learning “when.”
    So, it takes a lot to piss me off, but I have the skill to keep it under control, while kicking the holy living excrement out of anyone that needs a lesson in manners, civility, or humility. Guys like Goliath… for example.
    The pity is that I just don’t heal as fast as I used to, so I choose my fights carefully…
    And by the way… it’s manly to read the Bible…
    Gotta go or I’ll miss my laser-reduction therapy, to further reduce the scar tissue on these old knife wounds…
    Say, you’re not related to Goliath, by any chance are you…?
    Shalom

  20. Sarah says:

    wow. this is very entertaining commenting guys. lol.

    And Manly- your right. Tasers are not manly at all. But i can get a Gun liscense, and i think the taser is more effective than mace when little girl me is all alobe wandering the streets of NYC.

    My boyfriend has a gun. hes pretty manly. i get a taser, because with a gun i would only hurt myself.

  21. mistermanly says:

    Hi RR,

    The majority of my blood is Scottish. Most of the rest is Scotch.

    Mister Manly

  22. Oy Vay! That explains it…
    I thought you were nuts! You’re just intoxicated…
    But remember, Scotch is medicinal, administered in small doses…
    Let me know when you run outta “medicine,” I have a supplier…
    “May he live to be a hundred…”

  23. mistermanly says:

    Hi RR,

    I only consume it in small doses, several times a day. I’ll keep your offer in mind.

    Mister Manly

  24. Girly says:

    Love this song!!

    You know what they say about us redheads…. beware!! 😆

  25. mistermanly says:

    Hi Girly,

    I certainly will 🙂

    Mister Manly

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