Manly gifts, volume IX

One important manly characteristic is being constantly aware of your surroundings. With this in mind, here are some gifts to help your man know what’s going on.

Tired of having to look out a window on each side of the house to see what’s going on outside? Then this,

Set of surveillance cameras is what you need. With 8 cameras, 4 of them wireless, and it’s own computer to monitor and/or record them with, it’s worth almost every penny of the $7,000 it costs. Smaller and less expensive sets are available.

Then there’s that pesky problem of seeing at night. You either have to have flood lights all over your property, or get one of these,

night vision monoculars. I can’t believe something this useful only costs $200. This baby is on my Christmas as of now.

Of course, one has to keep an eye on things during the day as well,

and this pair of binoculars is just the thing to help with that task. They’re military spec, waterproof, shock resistant, and have a built in range finder. What more could you expect $125 to buy?

On the other hand, seeing isn’t everything. Sometimes it’s important to listen as well,

and the Detect Ear will let you do it better than most. This top of the line model, at $500, may be more than you need, so a less expensive unit may be appropriate.

It’s also important to know how fast things are moving, which is where your,

Bushnell Velocity Speed Gun comes in. At less than $80, it’s worth it just to know how fast cars are going by your house.

Temperature is also an important piece of information to have, and with this,

infrared thermometer, you don’t even have to touch something to know how hot/cold it is. At less than $80, this is going on my want list as well.

This next item,

which is a Mini Sound Meter for around $140, may be the best buy of the post. Seriously, with this gadget you have scientific proof of why it was necessary to punch out your neighbor for allowing his teenage brat to play overly loud music. If it only gets you off of one assault charge, it pays for itself.

Then there’s the weather, which everyone supposedly talks about, and with this,

home weather station, you’ll know exactly what you’re talking about. Sure, you can always get weather information off the TV or Internet, but not for your backyard! Why the hell do you care what the temperature is across town when, for $90 you can know exactly what the weather is right where you are. Besides that, it has a radio link to an atomic clock, and atomic stuff is very manly.

Sometimes it’s best to go with low tech solutions, such as this,

visual body scan device, which I hear is going to be used in airports starting next year. So, how can you possibly resist spending $3 for the added home security scanning every visitor for concealed items will bring?

Good shopping,
Mister Manly

Advertisements

22 Responses to Manly gifts, volume IX

  1. MJ says:

    Wow. Some of that stuff is really creepy, like stalker-ish creepy.

  2. Girly says:

    We have a similar home weather station!

    I think some of this stuff is really cool… but, like MJ said… kinda creepy.

  3. mistermanly says:

    Hi ladies,

    And what is this “creepy” of which you speak?

    Mister Manly

  4. livininsanity says:

    I must say, there’s nothing manly about knowing the temperature.

  5. mistermanly says:

    Hi l,

    Actually, there are several manly things about knowing the temperature. It’s quite important in planning how you will handle a fight, should such occur. In many parts of construction, which is very manly, knowing the temperature is an important element in getting the job done correctly. Then, there are also those times when knowing a woman’s “temperature” is extremely important in guiding the evening to a good conclusion.

    Manliness, I must say, is a complex subject.

    Mister Manly

  6. MJ says:

    Like spying on your neighbors creepy.

  7. Girly says:

    Yeah.. what she said. Or even spying on your wife creepy LOL!

  8. mistermanly says:

    Hi MJ,

    I see. I didn’t think of that because I spend a good deal of effort trying not to see our neighbors 🙂

    Mister Manly

  9. livininsanity says:

    I hold firm that, overall, it is more manly to not know the temperature and brave the elements.

  10. Secrets from the “Dark Fortress of Mister Manly, eh?
    $7000 bucks to stalk the neighbors… You take “paparazzi” to a whole new level! I foresee some squad cars on your front lawn, in your future! But with that get-up, at least you’ll see them coming!
    Guinea hens are much cheaper, if you’re really trying to keep track of the neighbor kids! And they don’t poop as much as Pit Bulls!
    But the night-vision is a must, so you can see the guinea hens pecking the crap outta that juvenile delinquent up the street, when he’s trying to steal your car parts… You know, if you didn’t have so many derelict cars in your yard, that wouldn’t happen…
    And the “Detect Ear” will let you hear the little bastard screaming, as the hens peck out his eyes! Hey, you could measure the sound with that “Mini Sound Meter!”
    MM, I like the way you think… It’s sneaky, devious, and uber manly, all at the same time… Hey, you might be Jewish… or possibly Canadian… Hmmm…
    (And, let’s not start that “Jewish by relationship” stuff again, though, huh? I checked with my Rabbi, and he says that you’re full of “poop.” The “non-kosher ” variety, I might add.)
    But I’ll pass on the weather station. If I wanna know the weather, I’ll just stick my head out the window… (and try to avoid my wife slamming it on my head, again…) Oy Vay!
    Mazel Tov, you bastard!
    And MJ, you’re a dear, but there’s a difference between “being observant,” and “creepy peeping…” It involves japanese electronics, recording devices, and a live Internet connection. Everybody knows that! LOL!
    And if my “neighbors” didn’t want me to look, they shouldn’t have put windows in their house. So there. LOL!
    Shalom!

  11. mistermanly says:

    Hi l,

    And welcome to the complex world of manliness. True, if the situation was something along the lines of having a child or dog wonder off, pausing to check the temperature before rushing outside to start the rescue operation would be most unmanly, unless the temperature is so extreme that going outside without the proper preparation will kill you before you have a chance to find said stray. I’ve encountered such conditions, when I lived in Canada, where the temperature was so low that, if one didn’t take time to don the proper clothing, you wouldn’t make it more than a hundred yards or so before freezing to death. It’s the same where I live now, except that, on some days, it’s hot and humid enough to kill anyone who exerts themselves outside without having access to a sufficient supply of water and salt. Being prepared is manly, suicide is not.

    Mister Manly

  12. livininsanity says:

    Isn’t freezing to death one of the manliest ways to die?

  13. mistermanly says:

    Hi l,

    What a great question! It’s so good that I will have to devote a post to it. How inspirational; thanks.

    Mister Manly

  14. livininsanity says:

    No problem. Glad I could help. I will be looking forward to the post.

  15. Sarah says:

    My boyfriend obtained a pair of those x-ray glasses. said they were the best investment he ever made. lol.

    Well, after the glock, of course.

  16. mistermanly says:

    Hi Sarah,

    Oh, I do so want a Glock! It would, however, seem that I am fated never to own one, as every time I save up almost enough money, some other “necessary expenditure” comes up to divert my hoard of cash. Still, hope springs eternal.

    Mister Manly

  17. Girly says:

    Just dropping by to say hi to one of my favorite Manly Men.. 🙂 I haven’t seen you around as much lately….

  18. mistermanly says:

    Hi Girly,

    Sorry, although I do like the being missed part, but I just had a busy few days, combined with a bought of general lethargy, not to mention the start of the political conventions. Assuming the new hurricane doesn’t head for New Orleans, where my wife is heading this weekend to visit our son, I should be back to my normal manic self shortly. Don’t worry, it’s manly to be moody on occasion 🙂

    Mister Manly

  19. Girly says:

    Well, of course you are missed. Glad you are just moody.. nothing serious.

    I will send good thoughts to New Orleans…. think that will keep the storm away??

    have a HUG from me 😀 (accepting a hug from a woman is manly right?)

  20. mistermanly says:

    Hi Girly,

    Oh, very. Especially when the wife isn’t watching 😉

    Mister Manly

  21. 2lazydogs says:

    Well Hello Mister Manly,

    Are you quite sure the mini sound meter is for men? Because it sure looks like a girl “toy” to me. *wink*

    I’m just saying.

  22. mistermanly says:

    Hi 2,

    Well, for $140 it had better be a dang good one.

    Mister Manly

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: