Manly deaths

Comments on my previous post by Livininsanity evolved into a discussion on what would be a manly way to die.  While I have an intuitive understanding of this, after thinking on it for a while, I decided it needs some discussion to bring clarity to the subject, since it is rife with subtleties.  By which I mean that, while two men may die in the same manner, a car crash for instance, one may die a manly death, such as a NASCAR driver who blows a tire and smashes into the wall at 180 MPH, or a non-manly death, such as someone who has a six pack or so too much and still tries to drive home and smashes into a bus full of nuns and orphans causing both vehicles to explode into giant fireballs with much resulting destruction.

With that in mind, I would say that a prerequisite for any manly death is that some element of manliness be incorporated into the circumstances preceding the event.  Thus, the following list assumes that the individual passing on was engaged in meeting an obligation or duty, serving his country, responding to an emergency, preforming some professional service, or something along those lines.  So, the top ten most manly ways to die, from most to least manly, are:

1.  Combat in service to your country. 

2.  Trying to save/protect a stranger.

3.  Trying to save/protect a friend.

4.  Trying to save/protect a pet.

5.  Trying to save/protect a family member.

6.  Defending your honor.

7.  Defending the rights of others.

8.  Defending your rights.

9.  Furthering science.

10. Just working.

You should note that the details of this don’t matter that much.  Shot by a snipper while unloading a supply truck, or cut down while charging a machine gun nest.  Getting beat to death while trying to stop the school bully from picking on the small kid, or getting run over after pushing the cell phone guy out of the path of a bus.  Falling into the lava flow while taking a sample, or a slip with a needle in the infectious disease lab.  Shot by the police for questioning their warrentless entry, or shot by an intruder while wrestling for his gun.  When push comes to shove, it’s individual intent that matters.

Mister Manly


15 Responses to Manly deaths

  1. Girly says:

    What about just dying in your sleep from old age?? Would he have to be doing something manly before he went to bed that night?

  2. mistermanly says:

    Hi Girly,

    See how complicated this is? Still, it all comes down to his intent and whether he did something manly that resulted in his death later. For instance, if he was an air plane crash survivor, and gave his blanket to someone, and died of exposure because of it, then that would be a manly death. Eating some mush, watching the news, going to bed, and croaking because some internal thing decided to go on strike, is not a manly death. I begin to suspect that visual aids may be necessary to assist in the understanding of this.

    Mister Manly

  3. Girly says:

    Yes.. I believe visual aids may be necessary. My Girly mind just can’t quite grasp it.

    You men are so complicated…

  4. Pure Evyl says:

    Shot by a jealous husband/boyfriend should be included.

  5. Okay, “MM…” I’ll bite.
    Although I totally agree with most of your selections…
    Why is “trying to save/protect a family member” ranked below “trying to save/protect a pet?”
    You got something against my family? Hmmm?
    Are you one of those? Well, are you, punk?
    (Sorry, I don’t know how Clint Eastwood got into this…) LOL!
    Hey… Clint Eastwood is pretty manly… for a Gentile.

  6. MJ says:

    Good list. But you forgot – “Laughing in the face of mother nature.” 😀

  7. mistermanly says:

    Hi Girly,

    It can be a pain at times.

    Hi Evyl,

    And it would be, just not in the top ten. That’s down closer to #20.

    Hi rr,

    The reason for that ranking is that protecting a family member comes naturally, while protecting anyone else takes extra effort, making it more manly.

    Hi MJ,

    That’s #14.

    Mister Manly

  8. Sarah says:

    very interesting, and subtle indeed.

  9. mistermanly says:

    Hi Sarah,

    Thank you. Subtle is difficult for me, so it’s especially nice that you noticed.

    Mister Manly

  10. Hey MJ,

    Is it “manly” for a grrrrl to laugh in the case of a hurricane?

    “Cuz, if it is, you can come over to my house, in about four days. It looks like we’re gonna get one, and I’m “manly” enough to admit that I’ll be hunkered down with my wife and infant. Wanna “pinch hit” for me?


  11. mistermanly says:

    Hi rr,

    I would, but my son and 8-10 others and their dogs are expected to arrive here from New Orleans sometime today, so I suspect my schedule will be full. Keep your head down.

    Mister Manly

  12. MJ says:

    RR – I meant something more like climbing Mt Everest, not sitting and waiting on Mother Nature to pummel you lol. Good luck getting through the storm safely though!

  13. livininsanity says:

    It’s settled, freezing to death while working in the arctic is manly!

  14. Hey MJ,
    Dammit! I thought for sure you’d just stick your face out the front door, and the storm would recoil in terror! Nothing is scarier than an “empowered Grrrrl!” Reports are now saying it’s probably gonna be a Cat 4, so we’re definitely in the soup, here. Thanks for wishing us luck, it looks we’re gonna need it. I’ll be posting our progress on my blog, every 12 hours or so, until this is over.

    And MM, after I wrote today’s post on my blog, I immediately thought of you. You’ll love it, it’s right up your alley! Check it when you can. And tell your kids to be careful on the road, it’s already crazy, here on the Gulf. Everybody is already loading up the RV’s for the trip north…

    And lest I forget, livininsanity, dying by freezing to death isn’t manly. You just get numb and tingly, and fall asleep. It’s been likened to falling asleep on a cloud. It’s the act of working in those arctic conditions, that’s manly. Or possibly crazy. Yeah, that’s it… Crazy. LOL!

  15. Virgil Hart says:

    I’ve come close to dying through number 8, although, by my rights, I really mean, my innate desire to be really loud and obnoxious.

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