Representive John Murtha should kiss my redneck ass.

While I, Mister Manly, don’t normally like getting into political issues as, apart from military funding, they’re generally pretty wimpy, I find it impossible not to make an exception in the case of Rep. John Murtha because of his recent comment about rednecks.  Earlier in the week this feeble minded fool blamed his own constituantents lack of enthusiam for voting for Obama on their racism.  When called to task for this remark, he appoligised and insisted that it was only a reaction to the high redneck population in the area that made him mention it at all.

So, being a member of the minority that the fat aging brain damaged good Representative feels comfortable about insulting, I’d just like to issue an invitation to his sorry ass to come down here and settle it like men.  I know that at some point in his distant past he must have been a man since he was a Marine.  While it’s truly sad to see someone like that sink into the depths of insanity, his remarks are also beyond tollerating.  Still, since it’s obvious that, even though I am starting to feel the effects of age, I’d kill him with the first punch, let us make it fair.  You, John, bring whatever “friends” you have in the House down, and I’ll invite my black friends, who are all Democrats by the way but who I’m thinking would like to take a swing or three at you elitist Yankee assholes, and we’ll have a big fun brawl on my front lawn.  Heck, I’ll even buy the beer.

While you’re trying to work up enough courage to even consider my challenge, shove this up your Cut-And_Run old ass:

While you’re at it, bring Obama with you.  I may have a few years on him, but I’d purely love to take a shot at him.  Oh, and make sure Pelosi is in attendance.  Some of the local ladies are just dieing to have some of her hair 🙂

Bring it, you intollerant bastard!
Mister Manly


11 Responses to Representive John Murtha should kiss my redneck ass.

  1. Pure Evyl says:

    I ain’t rascist but I’m proud to be a redneck.

  2. mistermanly says:

    Hi Evyl,

    I resemble that remark.

    Mister Manly

  3. MJ says:

    *gets out her hair-ripping gloves*

    LET’S GO!

  4. mistermanly says:

    Hi MJ,

    Glad to have you on our side.

    Mister Manly

  5. First, he insults people who elected him, by confusing “redneck” with “racist.”
    Then, to make amends, he says that “there’s still folks that have a problem voting for someone because they are black…”

    Was he wearing his hood when he said this? Was his cross burning? Was he waving around his “Klan Kard?”

    Throw a couple of Kosher Beers in them buckets of Ice, and I’m there too.
    I may be the only Jewish Redneck he’ll ever meet, but I’m sure I’ll leave a mark… I hate racists as much as I hate fascists!

    (Okay, I don’t hate them, but I really, really, despise them…)

    And then he’ll have to go back to his day job, and have to explain that he and his tribe got their asses kicked by a “Jew Boy,” and… a “manly” hillbilly, and a couple of “well-tanned” brutes…

    But, in his defense, he was a Marine (evidently not a very good one, most of those guys I grew up with were “stand-up patriot cannon-fodder” no matter what color they, or you were. Hey, give them an exotic place to go to, a few bad guys to kill, an MRE or three, and they were plenty happy!). Old John probably isn’t good with words with more than one syllable.

    However, if his constituents really are like that, it sounds like they elected a guy stupid enough to expose them, nationally. That’s gotta be good for tourism! So much for my RV extravaganza thru Southwest Penn State.

    Oy Vay!

    Are you gonna sell tickets? We could buy Pelosi a one-way vacation to Iran…

  6. mistermanly says:

    Hi rr and welcome to the fight,

    The Klan member is Senator Byrd; Murtha is just an ordinary idiot. Oh, and I read a news item this morning where it mentions that Mad Dog Murtha isn’t doing as well in his re-election bid as was expected. He’s only four points up in the polls and something like 75% of the people in his district think it’s time for new representation. On the other hand, if he looses I’ll be deprived of some really fine mocking material.

    What kind of beer isn’t kosher? While I don’t doubt that someone somewhere has tried adding pork to the wort, I’ve never seen that ingredient listed on any of the major brands.

    As to monetizing the brawl, I’m thinking pay per view might be the way to go. I even know a professional film maker who might be willing to record the event, if we can somehow keep him on the sideline.

    Mister Manly

  7. Hey, I’m surprised that Byrd is still alive. I thought he finally died! He must be what… about 90?

    And anybody that gets caught sobbing “Thank God for Ted Kennedy…” is a loon, in my book… They must put something in the water, in West Virginia. But that explains where all those jokes about West Virginians come from…

    Lets hope that Mad Dog gets his chain yanked, and they haul him back into his yard to guard the double-wide. Maybe the mailman will give him a shot or two of good, old-fashioned pepper-spray.

    And Beer is generally considered Kosher without any kind of “special” certification. However, some yeasts used to produce beer aren’t kosher though, so you gotta be careful, if you’re a Jew with a taste for a frosty, cold beverage. Most American beers are safe.

    There is actually a beer called “Porkslap Beer” that I’m suspicious about… LOL!

    However, since beer generally contains a certain amount of barley, it is considered “Chometz” and may not be used on Passover.

    “Chometz” means any food or beverage that contains fermented wheat, barley, or flour.

    (But I’m sure we aren’t gonna wait until Passover 2009 to help Mad Dog get muzzled, huh?)

    I suppose if you’re hauling it to an “out on the front lawn” ass-kicking (although that could qualify as a Redneck Festival of sorts) it’d be okay.

    And, I bet ya didn’t know that beer that has been improperly owned by a Jew on Passover may not be used even after Passover has passed (Chometz She’Avar Alav Ha’Pesach). This is supposed to cause you to search your house for anything that isn’t kosher and dispose of it, in observance of Passover. It’s like a scavenger hunt, and you even enlist some of the kids to help.

    This usually backfires, because your kids find out where you’ve stashed all your “adult magazines” and marital aids, but… Once you’ve found anything suspect, you’re supposed to dispose of it, sell it, or burn it.

    (What actually happens is that you search it out before hand, and get toasted before Passover starts, in most Jewish households… as it’s really hard to keep beer lit, and nobody in their right mind throws out perfectly good beer!!) LOL!

    [Man, I can hear Sarah howling already! I bet she’s gonna tell my Rabbi on me! LOL!]

    I do have a camera one of the cable networks loaned me to document the ISBU home build. It’s HD and everything… I don’t think they’d mind, especially since the recorded footage would certainly be “newsworthy…” We could just set it up on a tripod, turn it on “autofocus” and let the brawl begin!

  8. mistermanly says:

    Hi rr,

    I’m glad I’m not Jewish; I’d never be able to keep up with all the rules. Heck, even the Episcopalians confuse me. Is it kneel, bow, stand or bow, kneel, stand?

    Which reminds me of the newlywed couple who attended the wife’s Episcopal church for the first time. He manages to keep up through the first part of the service by following hand signals from her. All the kneeling and standing, however, caused him to work up a little sweet on his forehead, so he wipes it off with his handkerchief and drapes the cloth over his lap instead of taking the time to fold it and put it away.

    The wife notices this, leans over and whispers, “Is your fly open?” To which he replies, “No. Is it supposed to be?”

    Speaking of cargo containers, that’s a good idea. I’ll buy one and have it dropped off in the yard. Then we can load the fallen in it, label it “free beer” and have it delivered to a Hell’s Angles clubhouse.

    I am, however, having trouble coming up with a name for the Pay Per View movie. All I’ve got so far is:

    Brawl in the Fall
    Drunken Rednecks Beating Asses
    Rednecks’ Revenge

    Perhaps I should increase my alcohol intake to stimulate the thought process?

    Mister Manly

  9. Hey MM,

    Yeah, I admit that being Jewish isn’t easy… Sometimes it feels like you need to carry around a scorecard and a calculator! LOL!

    Can you actually drink enough to make any sense of this Murtha knucklehead? He’s a prime example of why there should be fiercely enforced term limits on House service.

    (Byrd is another example…)

    John Murtha is the symbol of everything wrong with Washington. He’s an 18-term Democratic Rep, the king of congressional pork and the target of the infamous Abscam sting who was videotaped entertaining a $50,000 bribe from undercover FBI agents posing as emissaries for Arab sheiks trying to enter our country illegally in the 1980s.

    (In fact, he did it 3 times. “Smile pretty for the hidden camera,” you bastard…)

    In June, this ignorant “pork prince” was caught intervening on behalf of a law-breaking Pennsylvania company convicted of selling military equipment parts illegally overseas and knowingly violating national security rules.

    But alas, it looks like we have to get on the “ass-handing” list…

    Remember, it’s an election year! Argh! And, in Murtha’s “Rednecked” neck of the woods, the champion for hope and change is GOP challenger Bill Russell, a Desert Storm veteran, who is a former Army lieutenant colonel and Army reservist who survived the Sept. 11 terrorist attack on the Pentagon.

    On Thursday, a new poll by Dane and Associates put Russell ahead of Murtha by 48-35. Several polls, including a few conducted by CNN put “the idiot incumbent” Murtha up over Russell by just a little more than 4 percentage points. That’s within the poll’s 4.9-point margin of error.
    Murtha’s in so much trouble he decided to cut and run from a scheduled debate with Russell last week.

    So after the Colonel kicks his ass, I think we’re just gonna administer the final head-shot… huh?

    “Bad Dawg Daze Afternoon?”

    “Quake by the Lake?”

    “The Smackdown after the Trackdown?”

    “The Crackdown Smackdown?”

  10. betme says:

    Murtha does not deserve the honor of placing his lips on you butt cheeks. 😉

  11. mistermanly says:

    Hi b!

    It’s very nice to see you around again. I hope this means you’re blogging again. Your comment, by the way, is very sweet.

    Hi rr,

    It’s almost Halloween so:

    Murtha Mash
    Nightmare On My Lawn
    From Dusk ‘Till Redneck
    Curse Of The Redneck
    The Redneck From The Black Lagoon

    Mister Manly

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