Less expensive manly Christmas gifts

December 15, 2008

As requested by my friend, MJ, here are some manly gifts that are less expensive.

For those who are on a really tight budget, the best gift may be a bit of information and time to follow where it leads.  With that in mind, give your man this reference, http://www.globalsecurity.org/military/library/policy/army/fm/,

and promise not to pester him for spending hours reading the massive number of US Military field manuals that are available on line for free.  Just be sure that, once he gets into reading this stuff you remember to make him eat and drink occasionally.

Any man will be quite pleased with the gift of a pocket knife, and this one…

… will be even more appreciated as it’s not the run of the mill multipurpose tool, but is specifically designed to be useful in emergency situations.  At $90 it’s at the top of today’s price list, but it has a blade designed to cut through safety glass, which is mucho manly.

And if you’re looking for a gift that leads to a bit of hands on fun…

… this massage ball should do the trick.  It’s only $11 and, well, if you only use it once I’d say that’s money well spent.

A more practical gift is this set of multi-purpose tools…

… with the key being that, while they’re not heavy duty implements, at $20 they are a handy addition to the tool box and give one the option of taking one or two tools to make a minor repair without having to tote a large number of tools to hard to reach locations.  I know several professional service and repair people who wouldn’t be caught dead without these items.

If your man cooks, he can always use one of these

… 4″ paring knives from the same people who make Swiss Army knives.  At only $50, it’ll be a useful gift that lasts a life time and also shows that you have exceptional good taste.

If your man grills, and he most likely either does or wants to, a pair of tongs like this…

 

… will be most appreciated.  Since most men have some form of “grill tool set” they find themselves stuck with the crappy pair of cooking tweezers which is included and is nothing more than a piece of metal bent into the shape of the letter U.  This item, however, is a larger model of the standard and indispensable kitchen tongs and, at $11, should be something he can’t wait to play with.

Finally, and best, if he doesn’t already have one, get him a copy of this book…

… which you can pick up at most any book store for less than $20.  While it’s a bit old, it’s also probably the most manly book ever written, offering as it does such bits of wisdom as, “where you are weak show strength and where you are strong show weakness.”  This is unquestionably required manly reading.

Merry Christmas,
Mister Manly


Manly Christmas gifts

December 9, 2008

As Christmas approaches some of you may be having trouble choosing the perfect manly gift for your man.  In honor of Gov. Palin and the First Dude, I’ve decided on an Alaskan theme.

And what could be more manly than elk hunting?

I suggest a stay at Afognak Wilderness Lodge up near Seal Bay.  They have great scenery, rustic cabins, and lots of giant elk just waiting for that bullet with their name on it.  You’ll have to call for prices, but I suspect they’re in the “if you have to ask you can’t afford it” range.

Another hugely manly gift would be an entry in the Iron Dog snow machine race.  This event has been described as:

The Tesoro Iron Dog™ is the longest snowmobile race on the planet. Racers reach speeds in excess of 110 miles per hour as they speed over Alaska’s frozen tundra, enduring wind-chills which plummet down to a bone-chilling 50 below zero!

While I have never been in such a competition, it seems logical that one would require a snowmobile…

… and this one, a Ski-Doo’s MXZ Adrenaline with 600cc E-TEC, sounds like it would do the job.  For around ten grand you get a 120hp monster that has a better power to weight ratio than most sports cars, which should propel it at speeds far beyond anything a wimp would dare think about.

You’ll also need to get the cold weather gear and such, which will run you a few more hundred.

Another mental image that’s often conjured up at the mention of Alaska is…

… dog sledding.  While most people probably won’t have the need or desire to own a sled and a team of dogs, it would be a manly adventure to rent those things and learn how to make them go.  Fortunately, this is available at Northern Sky Lodge and Kennel.  You’ll have to call for prices, but if you can afford it Mister Manly says to mush on up there.

Another part of Alaskan life is flying…

… and learning to fly, besides being a good song, would also be a manly trial.  So pilot lessons would make a great stocking stuffer.  Prices will vary by area, but you can find a flight school near you here.  That site also has links pertaining to the actual purchase of a plane, but if I’m going to suggest you spend that much money I’ll direct you to a sports car page.

Finally, near the top of the big list of manly occupations is lumberjack.  This fact is celebrated in a series of lumberjack competitions that can be seen on any of the multitude of cable sports channels.  Obviously, most people won’t have the time or opportunity to devote themselves to perfecting their skill in most of the events, but most everyone has the time and money to practice this…

… the manly art of ax throwing.  While this is most likely a sport that apartment dwellers should shun, if you have a back yard then $90 can equip your man with a competition legal throwing ax, which comes with the rules of the sport and instructions for building a target.  Heck, buy two so you can both play.  Just be sure to let him win.

Mister Manly