Hard times for Mister Manly

While I apologize for neglecting this blog for so long, I have had good reason for doing so.  I took a few days off to play lumberjack, and harvest a bit of timber off the farm, Paulownia trees to be exact, which look like this…


… and fetch a pretty penny in Japan, their native country, if they’re not allowed to get too large.  That’s because they tend to develop a hollow space in the middle as they age, which makes them difficult to convert to lumber.  So, like many things on the farm, when they’re ready they’re ready and you’re working on their schedule. 

Anyway, while risking life and limb while playing with chainsaws, falling trees, and loading large (and heavy) logs onto trailers with a front loader is fun and very manly, it wasn’t enough of a masculine boost to prepare me for the political situation awaiting me when I finally had time to pay attention once again.

Come on people!  I turn my back for a couple of weeks and we have some a smooth talking drug addict socialist in the White House, Congress is falling all over themselves to hand out my money to fucking useless Suits on Wall Street who are wetting their over priced clothes because they tossed the dice with other people’s money and lost, and my wife is harping at me to get my hair “styled” before our son’s wedding.  Honestly, these things have made me take a bit of personal time for contemplation.

The result of this deep thought is:

1.  Since my son is in favor of my hair slaughter, I’ll do it for his sake.

2.  The majority of American citizens are morons, and a good depression that starves off the idiots among us will do the country as a whole a good deal of good.

3.  To make back some of the massive loss of tax dollars the wimps on Wall Street and in Washington have sucked from the common funds, we should start issuing hunting permits on them.  Really, I know several people who would put down several thousand dollars for a chance to have a prominent politician’s or a Wall Street fat cat’s head mounted on their wall.  Now that’s what I call a stimulus.

4.  On the dark side, it looks like a bit of manly advice on how to survive the disaster our crap politicians have heaped upon us will be necessary, and I’m hard at work to collect and get ready to publish it.

Once again, sorry to take so long, but even I, Mister Manly, was caught off guard by the rapid stupidity that has hit us lately.  Oh, and I also waisted a few days talking myself out of making a one man march on Washington to protest the State of the Union, with lots of guns and a death wish.  I’m past that now, although I’m not all that certain it was a good decision, but I’ll stick to it for now.

Mister Manly


10 Responses to Hard times for Mister Manly

  1. […] Read the rest here:  Hard times for Mister Manly […]

  2. Being really fucking manly is definately an acceptable excuse for not updating. Also, I agree with pretty much everything in your blog.

  3. mistermanly says:

    Hi MB,

    Glad to hear it. I’ll be paying more attention to the blog for a while. Really, playing with chainsaws is fun, but too much of a good thing and all that…

    Tip a Guinness for St. Patrick,
    Mister Manly

  4. MJ says:

    Sooo good to see you back MM! I had almost given up on you.

    I agree with all of what you said, except for the starving the idiots thing. Because idiots thrive on the ability to whine, a Depression would actually be beneficial to them, since the gov’ment would give them money to SHUT UP. It would be us regular, non-whiney people who would be hurt the most.

    Kind of like gun control.

  5. mistermanly says:

    Hi MJ,

    And it’s good to be back.

    Don’t worry about the Government handing out money to whiners. They’re already taking care of that by printing so many extra dollars that the value of US currency will be on a par with Monopoly money in a few months. Then they can placate the idiots by dropping cash out of helicopters.

    Mister Manly

  6. Hey MM,

    Make that a “Two Man March” and I’ll join you!

    And stop complaining about the state of American economy, huh? Make insulation from those soon to be worthless greenbacks! After all, it’s just cellulose, like all those Euro-converted slices of carefully crafted cotton! Why not use cellulose insulation made from recycled US paper currency?

    Hey, I’m gonna put in an order for a pallet or two of it, with some of my stimulus money. If Bernanke and Geithner can print greenbacks fast enough and cheaply enough, I could also burn it in a “pellet stove” for further low-carbon energy savings and independence, financed by the damned Chinese and paid for by my great-great-grandchildren. To hell with all this global warming “BS,” it’s still cold outside!

  7. mistermanly says:

    Hi RR,

    Seriously devalued dollars would make excellent garden mulch. They’d also make good confetti for St. Patrick’s Day.

    Mister Manley

  8. trishothinks says:

    Yes….while you were off in the woods playing “Lumber Jack”, the whole world went to hell….poof! Just like that. Hopefully it isn’t too late to whip this country back into shape when November rolls around.

  9. livininsanity says:

    I would like to point out that your prolonged absence from the blog is very manly.

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